I was working so hard as a single parent at a job full of men who didn't respect me, juggling parenting on my own, working multiple jobs, and caring for my household all day every day. I was suffering from incredible anxiety, depression, and CPTSD. I pushed forward on in the rat race determined and then be dragged down into a see of despair. 
I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop. I was living in what I thought was a comfort zone of monetary means, because I could provide enough if I just kept going. Then covid happened, and being abruptly let go from long term job security, struggling with coping patterns that only left me more depressed, I felt broken. 
I started digging deeper into the holistic patterns I knew I had, I was good at movement, I adored art, I loved making music, I loved being in nature. I started to pay attention to how my body reacted to these experiences more, and identifying how I was allowing the conditions of my mind run rampant, causing my emotions and ego to take over my body. 
That's like letting a blindfolded rabid dog drive a car. 
I learned through counselings, mentor programs, reiki healing, plant medicine, and my artistic healing practices one day at a time how to allow my passion to create my reality instead of my fear. Every day since this turning point, has been more magical and full of peaceful joy. Any challenges that arise can not knock me over like they used to.  I learned how to love and nurture myself better, and listen to my spirit. Relationships around me are thriving, and I am surrounded by people who love me for who I am in this very moment. Truly following the passion of your heart can create a catalyst of powerful change in the world around you. 

Within the human body is a fire of passion, ready to be ignited by the spirit of any given person. Are you unsure what being passionate means? 

Have you ever become so excited for an event, activity, friend or loved one you simply can't contain yourself? 
Have you ever experienced becoming fully immersed in an activity, or with another person and forget how much time has passed?
Have you ever craved to learn as much as you can about something, or found yourself completely fascinated with a topic or people you never tire of learning more? 
These are all your spirits way of showing what your passions are, and giving you clues on how you want to express yourself more authentically. These skills go right along with certain skill sets or, what I like to call "Magical super powers" unique to your life's journey. 
However, in the world today we have been conditioned to believe we can regard this passion power within as merely a hobby we like and rarely are we taught to listen to the intuitive voice of guidance and instead led to believe we must listen to the fear instead. We may be taught by parents, teachers, co-workers, friends, lovers, that if we don't listen to their opinion, and follow the path they believe is of least resistance we may never have enough money, we may get sick, we may be abandoned, we may amount to nothing, we must go to school, we must work hard, we must work harder to achieve. We get lost in this mindset and before we know it, we have watched a good portion of our lives pass us by, while we struggled with stress, confusion, and exhaustion. We find ourselves at, pretty much the same burnt out, lost, and depressed feeling. 
What if I told you this was backwards? Would you believe me or would you run to the comfort of the spooky stories and conspiracies someone placed in your mind before me?
Doubt is fear based, and fear blocks all possibilities. There is no passion where fear exists, there is only a rudimentary system of  disillusion draining the courageous energy your spirit knows it has. Most people are existing in this state until they finally have had enough and are willing to take one step at a time to express who they really are, what they really need, what they're authentically passionate about without fear of what other's will do or say. 
Being stuck without passion in life is to be engaged in a vicious cycle of feeling called to feel better (a void), and feeling stuck listening to the whispering drone of the ego based mind, telling yourself "You can't because blahblahblah" or "This is as good as it gets", or "That's life"... 
This is listening to the conditioning of the mind. Passion is listening to the fire of the heart, it's a feeling not a logical explanation for you to not do something. 
Every human on this planet has incredible gifts of passion. When you create with your mind, your hands, your voice, you are living in passion. When you move your body freely and learn how to be present in a moment and experience nature and life on new levels of joy you are living in passion. Every moment you're here is a moment you can choose to learn how to live more passionately as a co-creator of your own life or live through the lens of what others create for you. Learning how to accept the present, and make peace with the past is a key element to ignite the spark of self loving expression, that will exude passion the more you stoke your own fire. 
In a passionate state of being you have nothing to lose but pain and you always deepen your life experience with joy, love, and wisdom. You have everything to gain.
You get to learn, you get to feel free, you get to create, you get to enjoy a passionate transformation into letting more light into your life. 
Using my own experience with hardship & trauma I created learning tools, and healing modalities, mixed with artistic outlets to formulate The 3rd step on the Empowering the Enchantress Series is focused on igniting your self love, passion, and expression. One of my favourite steps because I get to create rituals of artistic expression and see how woman can empower themselves towards more authentic joy, unlocking their own magic. 

Live or In person Sessions include:
Unlock your passions expression with me! You are ready to express yourself more authentically, without apology. You desire to radiate from the inside out, shining brightly in your confident self love. You are tired of holding yourself back, and crave to create a life you desire!
This Session focuses on:

• Guided meditations made for you to encourage the mind and heart to work together in harmony and raise yourself up in love
• Healing arts practice, creating a masterpiece of art with paint/ drawing/ and your body. No experience needed
• Cultivating rituals of mindfulness to accompany your every day routines.
• Dream analysis and oracle reading
• Divine Goddess Dance Activation, expressing yourself through guided movement to engage yourself in love and presence in the miracle of your body

Transcendence, is a fancy word for "rising above". Think of any unsavoury, feeling or situation that comes to mind and imagine yourself rising over it. 
There are vast options available to you here, endless choices you can make to overcome any given challenge or struggle. 
Yet, as conditioned human beings living in a certain cycle, or routine way, we have come to believe the way we are, and where we are, is the only way. Then we base reason behind everything we decide to think, and do all day, as if it is happening to us and not for us. 
 Until, one day you notice, you actually can choose your thoughts. You can, choose how you take action, react, or retreat in any given moment.

We all forget the power we possess, as we react emotionally, make excuses for ourselves, blame others, say things we don't mean, or do things we may not want other people to notice, or are not proud to admit to ourselves let alone others. We can get caught up in our emotions, thinking they are the main focus and struggle between believing our emotions are controlling us, and feeling resistance to them in a desperate attempt to have control over them. Instead we need to realize our emotions teach us, and pass through us when we let go of the idea of control. 
The main reality is, when you let go of control, you make room, for anything that can happen, and you get to feel peace knowing this magic, so you can relax. 
Relaxing sounds good to me, I'd way rather go breathe, play, and chill, than be all caught up in uncomfortable feelings and anxiety over thinking. 
When I allow myself those moments of just being alive, letting the uncomfortable become comforting, allowing vulnerable moments to be beautiful adventures, accepting myself and others for where they are at, I can see a bigger masterpiece instead of a mess I need to figure out. 
All these "moments" are teachers of what I get to create for my world. The most beautiful aspect of coming to know how moments teach me is, realizing that I want to feel the full spectrum of learning. In being present for each feeling and moment, instead of resisting, I can always empower myself through the dynamic of my free will, and choice. The virtues I uphold and practice through my freewill, is magic for me. 
I get to know I had a part in making each moment a part of my world, and a part of my experience. I get to be a conscious observer, and co-creator of my life masterpiece instead of letting it all happen to me. 
I can make time for play, and laughing, and lingering in the delicious moments to their full extent. I can learn how to navigate with effortless grace, the rough tides of emotions, and things beyond my control, and be gentle when I struggle. I can define these moments as I choose. 
In knowing this I can feel confident because I know I would choose, to believe in magic, to know I can rise above any situation with determination. I would choose to believe, I am worth every beautiful moment enjoying my creation to it's full extent. I can linger in these moments as much as I like. They are a part of me, and I want to be sparkling, fully beautiful pieces of magical moments.
I created the Transcendence series based on virtue of rising above what has hurt you. Identifying where your mind, body, and spirit has pain to let go of, and realize the dance of release to relearn, and retell your story. Learning how to detach, and remember who you are all at once. Creating affirming mantras to reset your thought processes, and creating a day you look forward to, just for YOU!  You will be able to ride the waves of emotions like a radiant goddess, instead of having them crash down upon you. You will become resourceful in ritual, and can weather any storm with grace! 
A part of the TREE Enchantress Interpersonal Program, Transcendence is the first step toward loving yourself on your journey through Interpersonal transformation. 

Many humans are all familiar with the phrase "Live in the moment" but this holds a different meaning for each human. 
Living in the moment is ironically achieved over time, entire life times in certain situations in order to actually appreciate the meaning. Being in the moment is quite possibly the very meaning of human life here on Earth. 

You may be reading this right now, as you are going about your day tackling your "To do" list, rushing around with children,  pets, partners, managers, co workers; Thinking of everyone's needs, heading to work, thinking of what is for dinner, and the list goes on. All of this is not living in the moment. 

​Are you dreaming about a much deserved vacation, or break from it all?
This is not living in the moment.
All of what you just read is how most of humanity on this planet have been conditioned to function day to day.

Before we know it we are wondering how the time went by so fast, and contemplating the meaning of life again, as we now feel time is running out for us. 
 

How frightening to realize all this time we have not been living in the moment?

Moments are what make up each day.

Your routine, and what inhibits your routine are all "moments" passing us by. The first key is how to make the most awareness of yourself within each moment. 
Do you enjoy pushing yourself to the very last energetic straw, passing out, or sleepless, and waking up to a frantic rush out the door?

I highly doubt it. 

If you could change this reality, would you? I truly believe you all would.

As a human we just don't know how or believe we can. So the first step here is to tell yourself "I believe I can live the life I desire".

Say it out loud, a trillion times if needed, all day, every day, and especially when your day is not going the way you want. This gives you a time to pause to observe the moment you are in. 

Do you enjoy being stressed, snapping at your loved ones, feeling anxious about money, how much love you receive, your job, your body appearance, your time passing by?

I highly doubt you do.

Yet here we all are on this planet experiencing this frantic, anxious ridden, mental, and very physically anxious or depressive state. 

If you could change the way you react to your loved ones, if you could feel happy and peaceful inside of yourself, and looked forward to creating unlimited income, doing work you love, enjoyed the movement of your body, and lived each moment to it's fullest; Would you?

I truly believe you all would.

We humans are just not sure how or don't believe we can. The very idea of it is too overwhelming because we are so used to over thinking and struggling along,  so we push the idea out of our minds all together and carry on in the rat race of our reality. 

So, what do we humans do then?

We do what is "socially acceptable" or what makes us not feel that we are in so much desperation.

For example, we may drink, smoke, become habitually addicted to something, seek approval and intimacy from anything outside of ourselves. 

We engage in ANY short term coping practice that enables us to escape from the reality we are living. This can go on for our entire lives! This may go on for many life times! 

Sure we may laugh, we may have fun, we may tell ourselves "we are so happy", yet if we are alone and totally real with ourselves, we can see and our spirit FEELS, we are so far from truly feeling at peace and happy with ourselves, those around us, and where we are  in life.

So what are some solutions to all this seemingly hopeless, fake reality? 

Let yourself feel, and pretend you are watching yourself.

Tell yourself "this feeling will pass" if it is an uncomfortable feeling for you. Say it a trillion times if you need to, all day, every day. 
The key is to observe, without reacting. There are countless tools for this piece and we can go into very detailed depth, but for the sake of a quick blog- Let yourself feel without the need to react.
Count your breathing, count the clouds, count the freckles on a face, name what you smell, hear, and see, do all you can to pause without reacting and name then, name them feeling you're feeling. "I am feeling sad"/ "I am feeling scared"/ "I am feeling anxious" etc. 

Next try to do this in the morning. Wake up, and say out loud or inside your mind... "I am feeling...." (describe the feeling)

Then find two things you are thankful for. This takes no time at all and can change your entire day.

I went from rushing around to 5 jobs, caring for children at the same time, and being basically a complete basket case of stress, fear, which I could not sustain, to a completely different reality just from changing the way I wake up. I built a beautiful routine I adore. Start with the 2 Thankful things. 

Then make a wish or two for your day, (for example), I love to say with my children in the morning "Today we will laugh!"

There is no limit to what wishes you can make, and make them simple at first. The point is to be in the moment. Saying the words "Today we will laugh"
​brings a smile to our faces, and we start the day with delight, instead of rushing frantically. 

Lastly, when in these high emotional moments, or any mundane moment, ask yourself "How can I make the moment I am in better?" 
Your subconscious and heart does the work here; If you are following the pause piece we just talked about.

Reaching for the bottle, can, the smoke, yelling, etc. Do NOT make a moment better.

This makes everything so much more difficult, the future moments so much more worse for you and all you love.

Could you listen to your child, and offer a hug, or ask them a question instead of snapping back in frustration or saying "No"?

Could you can ask your partner what they need instead of snapping back in a frustrated way with how they are acting? 

Can you put on music, can you light a candle,  can you go for a walk and notice the clouds, can you feel your heart beat? Can you notice the sun, the rain, the flower or, notice how amazing it is when we leak water out of our eyes?

Give yourself a hug and notice how soothing it feels, or hold someones hand instead of letting yourself be swept away in reacting. 

In summary: Try these ideas today:

Say out loud
"I believe I can live the life I desire"  (as often as you can) 
"This feeling will pass" (as often as you can when dealing with uncomfortable feelings)

​Say out loud,
"I am feeling".... (as often as you can, especially when you wake up) 

Say out loud, 
two thankful things, (as often as you can, especially when you wake up) 

Say out loud, 
two wishes for the day (as often as you can, especially when you wake up) ex:
"Today I will laugh" 

Say out loud, 
"How can I make this moment better" (as often as you can, especially when dealing with challenging moments) 


Observe, how your mind redirects back to the moment instead of getting caught up in what has happened in the past, or what may happen in the future.

Nothing can change what has happened.

What is going to happen can change a million times before the end of your day. 

Your life is all up to you, and all you have is NOW-

​Make it the best you can. You are magical and very powerful when you do! 

- Sarah Helten 

Below is a poem on the topic and journal prompt: Enjoy! 

What does it mean to be in the moment?

To let it pass by without regard
is to lose the gift of the lesson,
To see your life as "too hard "

What does it mean when your child brings you a rock?
What does it mean when you're too tired and busy to talk?

What does it mean to be in the moment?

To let it in and feed your spirit
To feel all emotions to let yourself hear it
To cry together, to laugh, to sing
To appreciate the beauty each moment brings

What does it mean to turn away when feelings run high?
What does it mean to act tough when we want to cry?

What does it mean to be in the moment?

To lose yourself in a smile
To share the joy of a friend for awhile
To hold each other through the pain
To snuggle up and watch the rain

What does it mean to be loud when we need to listen?
What does it mean to withhold words and hate the tears as they glisten?

What does it mean to be in the moment?

To grow together and deepen a connection
To be courageous and supportive
To find new direction

What does it mean to be in the moment?

- Love Sarah Helten

Journal Prompt:

How can you make the best of each moment today?
How can you make it better instead of worse? How can you show love to yourself and those around you no matter what phase of their lifes journey they are on? How can you accept where you are and where those around you are?
How can you make it easier and try something different?

I have a confession to make, I have done and said some horrible things in this lifetime. 
I have lived through horrible things done to me, and horrible things said to me too. Things I would never wish on my worst enemy, things that broke my heart, my body, my spirit and everything I thought I was and could become. 
I've been kicked around and then some. 
I have acted less than perfect more than I would care to admit. 
I have wanted to give up, I have been lost to the point of not seeing a point to all of this here. I have had many a swim in the depths of despair, embarrassment, shame, shock, confusion, horror, and desperation... I am sure I have caused these emotions in others too, and so the cycle goes around until you notice it's a cycle. 
Until I worked on opening my mind and eyes to the reality of what is and what isn't necessary. What is in the past and what is NOW. 

Until I was ready to let go of  what has happened, or "should" happen and redirect the mind to operate on the conscious level of what CAN happen. 

What can happen FOR me, not what can happen TO me. 
This takes constant attention to awareness on every level of every minute of every day. This takes courage to allow myself to feel the horrible, and very uncomfortable feelings, by letting them move through and working on releasing them actively on a moment to moment basis. 

Instead of being fearful or feeling ashamed of where I am, or what mistakes I may have made, or what people may or may not think of me... I had to decide to commit to change everything I was, not let my past dictate my present or haunt my future. I  actively decided committing to feeling joy, peace, and love no matter WHAT the situation may be is to make room for new ways of speaking, thinking, acting, and being.
Even if this means I stumble and forget along the way. I remind myself, it's OK. I have been through a lot, and I have come so far from then to now. It's OK, to feel overwhelmed, to fall apart, to feel fear, to feel ashamed, insecure, down, alone, sad, lonely, misunderstood, angry, happy, silly, crazy, peaceful and everything in between. Instead of being frustrated with my intense emotional makeup, I decided to celebrate and train it with enthusiasm as the amazing super power of a gift it is.  I learn how to let it be instead of frantically trying to control, fit in, and be what others want of me. 
Letting go of what you know to be pain, and mechanisms of coping with this pain is a process and practice. 

Let me tell you some ways how, with an example of my real life: 

My son and I had a confrontation, and anger got the best of me, I made my sweet child feel bad and cry, and as it always goes with the cycle of untapped anger, this leads to awfully overwhelming feelings of self loathing, and good old "Mum guilt".   I raised my voice, I was hard on him, I demanded answers he couldn't give, and I listed all the things I was afraid of. I then announced I was going to calm down, and would be back to eat dinner in about 20 minutes. 

Then it hit me. I was afraid. I was afraid I was failing him, myself, our dog, society, the world, and ultimately the universe (obviously I was over reacting). Everything my own child-self was afraid of was spilling out before me out of no where. What did I want? How do I come back from this raging storm of turmoil I had just created for us and our home? How even dare I!? 

I took some deep breaths, I cried, I wanted to run away but I hugged myself crying, and just sat in my mess of discomfort and shame and cried. I let it go for a little while, until I felt my body take a sigh of relief. Crying helps. Crying is good. Crying gets out those pent up emotions and past traumas. Cry as much as you ever need. It will stop. 
Do NOT hold in crying, or it will explode in anger later. 

I asked if I could talk to my son after some time. He said yes. The dialogue went like this... 

"I'm so sorry, you don't deserve to be treated that way ever. I was feeling afraid and alone, without someone to help me. There is no excuse for me to act out in anger, ever. I can feel anger without the reaction. I want to help you, and I love you, please let me know how I can help you feel loved." 

He responded with, "I forgive you. Look, we are all having a nice dinner, I don't even know what you're talking about? It didn't happen. I love YOU!" 

I sat there blinking, thinking how profoundly wise this statement was for me. I was all about forgiveness, forgiving everything that happened to me so I could move on. I didn't realize I hadn't fully forgiven myself. I had hung onto these fears, and what I was led to believe were shortcomings of who I am. Yet, I am loved even though. All the life challenges that I was led to believe were embarrassing, or shameful I've been through because they are all lessons for me to learn skills. They create ways for me to excel in maintaining a peaceful, loving state of mind. They are a part of me, of what I have overcome, and I am incredibly proud of where I have come from, as it has made me who I am today. I LOVE who I am today! I want my son to love who he is EVERY DAY! 

I thanked him very much for his love and quick forgiveness, and felt safe and secure in our bond. We moved forward quickly, and I reflected on this... 

I could have stayed stuck in that state of guilt, shame, over thinking through all the ways I should have handled the situation differently, carrying on the story of the past.  Instead, I was forgiven, and loved, understood, and reassured. All of these were gifts of compassion my son gave me,  and they freed me of myself.

The moral of the story? Forgiveness is an artistic practice, you create the environment you wish to be a part of within your own mind first, when you think about yourself, and then when you think about others.  Mistakes, are inevitable, stumbling, and clumsiness is inescapable, struggles are imminent. We are ALL making mistakes, stumbling, and struggling along here to the best of our conscious abilities at any given time. The art is to apply ways to make the journey easier when conflict arises... Here is how: 

1. BREATHE! If you can snap out words, you can suck in AIR, just do it and hold it there for a bit. While you're there choose a catch phrase and repeat it in your head. When you're about to go AWOL on yourself, you need to dial it back quickly to avoid any one even needing to forgive in the first place... My catch phrase is "There is no reason to snap ever." I adopted it. You can too. Say it as many times as you need, and breathe as long as you need. It takes 20 minutes- 48 hours for your brain to reclaim chemical balance after erupting, so let that motivate you to stay calm. 

2. BENEFIT OF DOUBT, there is always a solution;  OK, say you ignored step 1, and you are now in the future looking back on what you wish you had not said or done, or wishing someone else had not said or done something to you... KNOW, everyone is doing the best they can. Repeat this phrase in your mind or out loud. Remind yourself, whatever happened is NOT a personal attack. Even if it is a personal attack, remind yourself, you are a zen master and loving being! You can take time and space to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings in the comfort of your own mind without saying any words out loud. QUICKLY proceed to step 3... 

3. ASK A QUESTION If you are in a position to communicate peacefully, go for it by asking a question to clarify how the person or yourself is feeling, or what they meant by what was just said or done. If you feel too rattled, or don't have the time... Step 4...

4. MOVE YOUR BODY, TILL TALK TIME;  move your body and make a time to talk. A specific time to talk. Again, it takes 20 minutes to 48 hours for an activated mind to stabilize. Giving a vague time i.e "Later/soon/another time/ some time/ one day/ etc," can increase anxieties for both parties. Remember we always want solution, so we can feel happy and peaceful in our beings. If the situation has an unwilling party, proceed to step 5... 

5. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY; Even if they don't say sorry, even if they don't talk to you, even if you're still hurt/ mad/ sad/ etc. Make it your goal to FORGIVE. This is a feeling, a message you tell yourself. This is loving YOURSELF. This is NOT excusing behaviour. 
You incorporate "benefit of doubt", with some worthiness of yourself, some compassion for the human journey, and make it your absolute goal to find inner peace and joy as fast as possible. Take extra caring love of yourself. Free yourself from ruminating thoughts, anger, and resentments, past traumatic memories don't belong where you are now. 

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart"
- Buddha 

There are always better ways to handle any given situation. We all have weak moments. Weak moments are not the place to stay, you move forward to knowing, what CAN happen next is what matters most, and you're the one who can make it happen!

All the love, and telepathic hugs, 

- Sarah Helten 

Compassion is a mixed emotion. There are layers of pity, sympathy, empathy, and concern. Compassion is worry faced with courage and put into action, creating a quality, and becoming a sentiment you extend to another. 

As with any action or new skill, compassion is a practice. One needs to become aware of what situations in life require them to extend the action of compassion to another person. Awareness towards what situations require compassion comes from experiences which moved an emotion in you. 

The emotion the experience moves in you is usually not a comfortable one. 

You may think of times of when a little child cries because they hurt themselves and you pick them up to hug them, whispering phrases such as "It's OK/ I got you/ Let me help you/ Let me kiss it better/ Are you OK?/ Let's go get a bandaid/ You are so brave/ It's OK to cry/ etc" 

The phrases one could say to a hurt child when compassion is required are endless. They typically float gently out of the human mouth like colourful bubbles of comfort. Easy to say, and easy to feel, or at least imagine feeling.  

What about more complicated situations? What about when you're having a bad day, when you're less than your best? What does that kind of compassion look like? How to we act when we are giving compassion as an adult to an adult, or an adult to ourselves? 

These questions may be harder to answer, the images harder to imagine, excuses may be popping into your head, sounding something like " I don't have time for myself ", and "some people really piss me off, and I don't have to be kind to everyone",  a familiar and uncomfortable feeling sneaks into your heart. Perhaps it's because we are all familiar with how it might feel to be treated less than we feel we deserve. When we extend negativity to others it may feel like a release briefly but in the long term it eats at us, and attracts more of the same negative experiences. 

For these complicated moments, whenever you can pause to reflect on why someone is bringing up negative feelings in you, the answer is commonly is from a past memory your subconsciousness is remembering. The only way the subconscious remembers is by giving you a "feeling" whether you felt the experience was positive; For example, hearing an old family tune you played around the campfire when you were happy eating 'smores', would bring wholesome feelings of nostalgia. If during that same camping trip you were hurt, or felt afraid at any point the memory could cause a feeling of anger or fear in you. 

This is tricky because you may not remember the memory at all, you just know you don't like how you're feeling now and that causes us to react negatively. With a brief pause,  try to even hold your breath for a moment (one can't talk if one is holding their breath for a moment, and it forces the body into breathing deeper even for ONE breath. This moment  can make a huge difference of perspective.)  This moment you give yourself is compassion. 

The pause brings you peace because you are taking care of your own needs and feelings, and then the feelings lead to a better reaction where you can react more compassionately to others in any situation.  You may use the common phrases we so easily say to children who are hurt, they can work for adults too: "You are so brave/ Do you want a hug/ What do you need to feel better" are all compassionate words, leading to compassionate action. 

​You will start to notice, situations become more positive, and you feel more connected and understanding of the world and people around you. 

Your feelings, and the feelings of others are always improved with compassion. 

- Sarah Helten 

How old were you when you first remember being hurt and needing comfort? 

Do you remember why you needed comfort?

​Did you hurt yourself physically?

Did someone else hurt you physically? 

Did you feel hurt emotionally?

How did that feel for you?

Were your feelings validated?

Were you told what your feelings were?

Were you told how to express the feelings you were experiencing or were you abandoned, shamed, or ridiculed for your reactions and left to suffer alone in uncertainty and pain?

How do you think this experience may have formed your perception of what compassion was, what you were feeling was, and what feeling safe to express yourself was? 

What is compassion? 

By definition from google: "... Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others."

What does "sympathetic pity and concern for others" look like? Can you picture yourself giving compassion to another? Can you picture yourself giving compassion to yourself? Or is it just a feeling you get? 

We have been living in a world where bad news is around every corner, false facts run rampant, people are stressed and suffering, and there are things threatening to kill you, make you sick, make you poor, make you angry, or make you afraid around every corner. 

You are living in a world where you have the ability to seek immediate external satisfaction to improve yourself and your life. Anything and everything is at your finger tips to make you better. You have the ability to compare yourself with how well or now badly everyone else is doing compared to you,  all day, every day.

So, why are you not perfect? Why are you not an enlightened being by now, saving this world of violence, hunger, and inequality while your sour dough is rising on the counter? 

Because you weren't taught how to be perfect, and you never will be taught, it will never happen. 

You weren't taught how worthy you were of compassion and love. You need to learn how to give it to yourself now. Other people can't fill this traumatic void for you, no matter how much you want to blame them and make them fix you. 

You weren't taught how to show compassion because perhaps you weren't given it. Perhaps, whoever cared for the person caring for you wasn't taught how to show compassion either. What does this do? 

This creates a stigma, a separation of self and others; AND a separation of self from self. There is disconnection, and confusion. Perhaps, through either neglect, abuse, or lack of information; When you needed compassion, you were taught to hide your feelings, or that they were bad, or YOU were bad for feeling them, or reacting to them.
How you were treated when you needed compassion could have given you the idea that some feelings are "good" and some feelings are "bad". This can be confusing because when feelings feel "good" we are happy and able to share ourselves and our good vibes easily with others, and by default we are uplifted too.  All of them are to give us information to help us be better connected to ourselves, so we can better connect to others. 

When we feel "bad" we also share those vibes easily with others too. When we are left unchecked feeling stressed, afraid, angry, embarrassed, tired, sad, or hungry, all these feelings can trickle into the lives of others and by default back to you again, perpetuating your suffering.  

Compassion is naturally built into the human being. How to show compassion to others and to self needs to be taught by example. 

When you roll your eyes at the cashier, muttering impatiently how they can't do their job, and how busy you are today - They take your energy home with them, and so do you, and so does everyone in the line up who have no choice but to watch and listen as they wait for you, including your children.    

When you show patience as you ask how the cashier's day is going, and how it must be so stressful for them with all these changes, and how we are all so busy - They take that energy home with them, and so do you, and so does everyone in the line up who have no choice but to watch, listen, and wait for you, including your children. 

The way you respond to people and situations has an incredible impact on your entire existence. 

How do you show compassion for yourself? Start there. 
Do you use kind, reassuring words about yourself when you make a mistake or are struggling? 
Do you take relaxing breaks for yourself when you feel overwhelmed? 
Do you enjoy hugs and tender touches from loved ones when you are sad, mad, or afraid? 

How do you bring compassion to others? 
Do you offer reassuring words when you visibly see another struggling or making a mistake? 
Do you encourage others to take a break when they are overwhelmed? 
Do you enjoy giving hugs, and tender touches to loved ones when they are sad, mad, or afraid? 

When you are clear on how you need to feel compassion when life is hard and unfair it is easier to extend compassion through actions to others. You are naturally more patient and understanding, which leads to you being more happy and loving, which leads to you making the world a better place. 

You can carry joy, understanding, patience, compassion, love, insight, courage, and forgiveness with you; Or ... 

You can carry, hate, judgement, impatience, anger, contempt, and aggression, and fear with you. 

The choice is yours, whatever thoughts and feelings you carry, you give, and whatever you give, you get to carry with you. 

Choose wisely. 

- Sarah Helten